Waste (or waist) management.

Greetings! I’ve been writing on my WW Connect page more than I’ve been writing here. For whatever reason, I have waffled a bit about sharing my writing journey.

I’m going to go with the reasoning of adjustment. I haven’t fully found my way in retirement, covid, and road trips.

But I’ve found my weigh. It’s up some more. And I don’t feel very good. Or well. I know from experience, that it’s not so much about the number as it is how I am feeling.

I published my book, The I’m Possible Journey: Learning to Live with Sugar Addiction, because I wanted to remember where I had been and how I had gotten to a better place by managing my sugar addiction. A huge part of that management process was writing.

And so I am back here. I don’t want to waste that experience. And I want to feel better. Right now, it feels right to write. I can’t afford to consider it a waste of time. It’s part of my waist (and mind) management.

I continue to avoid sugar and artificial sweeteners. I do use fruit, but not dried fruit, for sweetness. When I feel like something is eroding my impulse controls and sending me into compulsive eating behaviors, I work to figure out what it is so I can eliminate it. It’s a waste of me if I don’t.

Dates, fresh or dried, are problematic. I’m not sure why nuts are in that category, but I have great trouble not eating all of them if I start–even if I don’t really enjoy the taste. I crunch the numbers and they add up fast. As in: I think it’s better to abstain if there aren’t established controls.

Nuts. That’s not where I was thinking this post was going.  I was really thinking about a quarter cup of cottage cheese that was left in the container after supper last night.

I have been making waffles for breakfast while we’ve been on a road trip with extended stops in Cheyenne and Lusk, Wyoming.

My go to waffle recipe on the road is a packet of plain instant oatmeal, an egg, half of a ripe banana or squeeze pouch of applesauce, and a half teaspoon of baking powder.  I either use my own waffle maker or the one in the hotel breakfast area.

But back to the ranch where I am right now. Yesterday I ran out of plain instant oatmeal packets. I knew there were recipes for cottage cheese pancakes, but they require some kind of flour. I also knew there was a recipe for flourless peanut butter cookies. I had a banana, some no sugar added skippy peanut butter, eggs, and baking powder. I didn’t waffle at all: I was going to experiment for my next breakfast.

After writing about abstaining from nuts, it might seem a bit nuts to use peanut butter. But I think peanuts are actually legumes. And, with the exception of Trader Joe’s all natural salted chunky peanut butter, I’m not likely to binge on it. The peanut butter isn’t flour, and it feels less dangerous to my sense of control.

I used a ripe banana, two eggs, 1/2 cup no sugar added Skippy peanut butter, 1/4 c cottage cheese, and 1 tsp baking powder. It made three waffles and I ate one.

It looked good. It smelled good. It tasted good. It was filling and satisfying.

Right now, I win. And if you enjoyed this post, you win, too!

Re: Packaging

My story is the same but I’m going to change the cover to better reflect this story as my personal journey. The back cover is a little different, as well. And I think it’s good.

This picture was taken at Sugarbush Ski Resort in Vermont. I think it’s very descriptive of how it was before I started my journey. I’m headed the wrong way on  the trail. It looks like I’m wading in powdered sugar and not really sure what’s going on. There’s a parallel to skiing in my journey with sugar addiction. And I think this fits.

I first published my book three years ago. I started writing it in 2012 when I started blogging my thoughts on the Weight Watchers blogging community platform. And now, in 2019, I’m looking back. I’m not waiting for 2020 hindsight. I think I can see it clearly from here.

My blog posts here have been sparse since 2017. My husband retired, my mother moved, my uncle passed away, and numerous other events happened in 2018.

I have written and read and commented in a community fashion on the WW (formerly known as Weight Watchers) social media site, Connect. I’ve occasionally connected with a private Facebook group with some of the people I blogged with as I learned to live with sugar addiction.

Recently, I’ve wondered why I felt the need to share.

Because I finally decided to give my book another chance, I’m resubmitting my manuscript with some font changes, a cover change and a few minor changes in the text. The cost of the book will go down. I think the readability will go up. There’s a clearer call to action on the back cover.

Once the changes are in place, there will be a sale on the e-book version. And there will be marketing. I’m learning that books don’t sell themselves. No matter how good they are.

The best part of this process, is that I’ve come back to the reason for writing and sharing. Community support is one of my tools in managing my sugar addiction.

When I’ve been under the influence of sugar and controlled by the addiction, I have tended to want to hide. Although I still don’t eat added sugar or outright (wrong) sugar, I think there’s a thing called addiction transfer that sets off closet eating which is not healthy.

In the last month or so, I’ve had doubts about sugar addiction. Doubts about my need to be so careful with what I eat. But I really think those doubts are fueled by the addiction.

I recently posted a little blurb on Connect. I talked about Response Ability. When I don’t eat carefully (with awareness of how I will feel after I eat), I lose my response ability. I lose my ability, or desire, to care. And then I feel lousy. Aches, pains, moodiness, depressed, befuddled.

My original goal in 2011 was to feel better. And I did. I collected some tools to help me manage my sugar addiction. When I used them I felt better. When I didn’t, I felt worse.  And sometimes, when I felt better, I’d write my thoughts in verse!

The point of this blog post is to alert you to the fact that I’m still here. I still have my tools. And I’m sharing them with anyone who would like to read about them.

I’m (still) Possible. And you are, too.

Thanks for reading this. I’d like to know what you think.

 

Grand can yon.

In my quest to manage sugar addiction instead of it managing me, I’ve found it fairly easy to be in control while I’m traveling hither and yon. It’s something I can do and it’s pretty grand. Until, yawn, I get a bit tired. Grand can, yawn.

Seriously, though, for the sake of folks I travel with and also my own sanity, it’s totally worth it for me to pack food and read labels to keep sugar out of me.

This past spring, my newly retired (from work–I didn’t retire him) husband and I took a five and a half week road trip. I got a little weary of the no sugar drill. So I convinced myself I could eat some tempura shrimp when we were having supper in Page, Arizona. Flour pretty much equals sugar in my body.

My husband said we could just find another restaurant, but I didn’t want to. I just wanted supper without any hassle. The owner of the restaurant was trying to figure out how to accommodate my food needs and said he could do gluten free. I grabbed onto that and said I would try it. My husband asked if I was sure. I said I would find out if it affected me and go from there. I was just tired of the hassle.

Reality was that I was actually just delaying the hassle. I will spare you the details. It wasn’t worth it other than the reinforcement that it wasn’t worth it. The following pictures are nicer memories of that day.

I recovered and discovered that I’m Possible still. Sugar addiction feeds a bitter pill–after it’s given a treat. I’d rather be more run of the mill and feeling life is sweet.

It’s possible in the desert for the flowers to bloom. And it’s possible for me to say I’ve no room–for things that are simply not good for me. I stay in control. Sugar free.

I’m reminded just now of a few years ago when someone was offended by me talking about sugar addiction so much. I’ve learned to not speak of it in certain circumstances, but I’ve also learned that staying aware of the consequences is a good strategy for me to stay in control of the addiction.

Sometimes speaking and hearing are the reinforcement I need in the moment. It’s that or suffering in silence until the consequences hit.

My recent recapture of Weight Watchers free lifetime etools while being at home is a big deal. It’s much easier for me to stay in control on road trips. My pattern at home hasn’t been as good.

But I feel like I’m going in the right direction at home again. And its partially because I’m going in the write direction. Because I can.

I’ll be headed out on the road again soon. My suitcase isn’t packed yet, but my food supply is. We’re not going to the Grand Canyon, but I’m taking my can yon. It’s grand.

Weather or Not.

(Note: If you are new to this blog and dive in, whole hog, you might be a little confused. I write as a tool so that sugar won’t rule and I often am simply amused.

I think I can.

Actually, I can. I have some hot peppers that are ready for a jam session. But that’s not what I was thinking about.

AAA and WW. (Not A&W)

I haven’t been tracking my foods–just my moods–on the Weight Watchers app called Connect. Tracked food worked for me with smart points, but not the freestyle aspect.

This morning I wondered, with scale down some more, if knowing my points would help me keep score.

I will not aim for a blue dot or red, to use up my weeklies I simply won’t dread.

I’m just in the mode to want to know, and so to the tracker, my foods I will show!

I’ve done very well with three meals a day and nothing

via Apostrophe. A Pause Trophy. Another look.

I haven’t written in this blog for months. I’ve been doing my creative writing for sugar addiction management on my Connect app with Weight Watchers. It’s not my favorite place to write, but it has worked for me. Mostly.

Today I looked at this word press site and discovered that someone from India had looked at this old blog post. I read it over and smiled. But I wondered what the person who read it thought.

The purpose for me to publish my book (The I’m Possible Journey: Learning to Live with Sugar Addiction) was to have a reference to turn to as a help in managing my sugar addiction. I thought it would be nice to have something to remind me of where I had been and what I did to get out of the control of sugar.

A few weeks ago, someone asked me how my book was doing. I started to answer that the book scan report doesn’t show many sales, but then I answered that it was doing well. It had gotten me out of a tricky situation with food. And I was thankful to have it.

I’ve gotten many phone calls from marketers who would like to “sponsor” my book to increase sales. I’ve listened to a few of the pitches, but I realize the sponsorship is actually a pitch for me to pay them quite a bit of money for no guarantees of any returns.

The return on my investment of writing The I’m Possible Journey: Learning to Live with Sugar Addiction is that I am doing just that. Living with sugar addiction. I’m managing it. Sugar isn’t managing me.

Just yesterday, someone close to me was looking for something sweet to eat. There were lots of options and it occurred to me that having lots of sugary options available was an amazing thing. I used to eat them all. And buy more. Now I buy them because I know someone who will eat them responsibly.

Sugar is not something I eat. It’s just how it is. Not will power. Won’t power. I won’t go back to how I used to feel. I won’t be controlled by food. I don’t want sugar anymore. I just want Maureen!

There. I’ve written my first WordPress blog post in months. What do you think of that?

Moving on.

I do not find encouragement

In a place of guilt.

I find it in some thankfulness

However the scale will tilt.

 

The number there is just a tool—

I’m so much more than that.

I’m thankful to know just what to do

If I’m skinny or if I feel fat!

 

When I pay attention to what I eat

And how my mind is feeling

I can take control over sugar’s blow

Instead of simply reeling.

 

Il track my moods and eat good foods

I am strong and will not wilt.

I move on from the scale.

Encouraged—not a fail.

Thankful–not filled with guilt!

 

I’m still working on this concept.

It has taken me many a year.

I’ve had some slips

And things pad my hips

That could cause me to shed a tear.

 

But I feel like I’ve turned a corner.

I’m finding more e’en to cheer.

This way to cope

Tends more to hope

Instead of to guilt and fear!

 

So Hip, hips away!

It’s Saturday!

I’m so glad to have a plan!

I’m going to do

My best (you can, too)!

With a thankful spirit, we can!

 

I’ve been working my tool of creative writing on the Weight Watchers Connect site. It’s not my favorite place to write. But I’m making it work for me. I’m in a mode (but I don’t have a code) of rhyming poetry.

Retirement is a huge change. It’s not bad. Parts of it are great. We’ve skied eleven times this season with our Max Passes. The weather looks favorable for more. And Maureen’s happy about that! The biggest help I’ve had with the changes of retirement is accepting that they don’t have to be figured out all at once. We’re exploring what works. And enjoying the ride most of the time.

My book talk went very well. I’ll like to do more of them, but I have to figure out how to drum up interest. There were seventeen people who showed up and were engaged in listening and asking questions. Perhaps I had the right ring about me.

I’ll write more when I can. The above poem is one that came to me when I was thinking about discouragement. I found it more helpful to think about encouragement and I’m thankful that happened!

My I’m Possible Journey continues. I am thankful for all the help along the way. Thanks for being here.

Doing the Write Thing.

I’ve been doing my writing on the Weight Watchers Connect site lately. It’s not my favorite place to write because it’s a bit awkward typing on my phone and there’s not much interaction with people. But then again….

Here’s something from this morning. I woke up in rhyming mode. Put on your life preserver. This is stream of consciousness rapid rafting. Or maybe it’s rapping.

Changing a Tire.

A couple of months ago, I had to get new tires for my minivan. I jokingly said my van was getting retired, never thinking that my husband would soon be offered a retirement package from his long time employer. We had been exploring retirement planning options and thinking about years from now. But things changed and his retirement starts this afternoon. He will be retired.

I suppose I could go into a commentary about Goodyears. And that’s what we hope to have in this next phase. We have a lot of good years behind us. But this is front wheel drive. Looking forward to a new chapter. And once he decompresses from the stresses of work, he may be a new chap!