Re: New

Sometimes this blog feels like the same old, same old. And with a birthday a few days ago, it might seem like same older. But I see this place as new. New opportunities. New beginnings. Or new continuings.

I’ve proven that renewing my Awareness, Acceptance and Adapting, related to my sugar addiction, keeps my MAPS up to date. Motivated And Positively Sugarfree. It keeps me going in the right direction. Continue reading “Re: New”

Traffic Jam.

Traffic Jam.

I went to Maine today. It was a last chance to visit my son and his family before they move farther away than a day trip. I left Connecticut before 6am and it dawned on me a little while later that I was driving to Vacationland  (Maine’s nickname) on Friday of an extra long weekend (Independence Day) I was early enough to avoid traffic on the way there. I did encounter some slowdowns on the way home, but nothing like the jam on the northbound side of I-95 as I headed out of Maine and through New Hampshire and into Massachusetts. The outside temperature was in the high eighties and I think it’s safe to say that it was a hot jam.

I was tired on the way home. I stopped at a grocery store and bought some cherries and apricots and roast beef  (for the protein) and had a planned snack that lasted a  long time and involved more food than I probably needed. I stayed awake and alert though.

About an hour away from home, I felt like stopping for more food. I was aware that I wasn’t hungry and it was more of an emotional or addictional response. In my state (Connecticut and mental), I could feel myself planning where I could stop and what I would buy. Yes, it was me looking for a hit. And then, just as I approached the exit, I got a phone call. Saved by the bell. Really. I needed that intervention and it worked.

I think I can take that experience and use it to bolster me tomorrow when the addiction tries to sweet talk me into something I really don’t want, or need.

What I really want is control and feeling good. Just like I wanted 5 and a half years ago when I started on my I’m Possible Journey.  I don’t want a traffic jam in my head. I need to remember that actually I can.

Speaking of traffic, I was looking at the map of countries represented in my readership and saw that my blog has had traffic from 50 countries. I  thought that was pretty exciting.

On the information super highway, people all over the world have stopped by to read my blog. Perhaps for some it has been a little rest stop. And maybe for others, it has been a motivational pick up. Others might have viewed my stream of consciousness as a traffic jam of words. Perhaps someone has come by feeling jammed and left feeling a little less stuck up. Or something.

Hopefully, I’ve helped someone smile along the way. And along the way, some folks have left comments that give me a boost and make me smile.

Thanks for reading! Good night!

 

Things are starting to gel.

Things are starting to gel.

As in the jam jammed, for one.

I went to my exercise class this morning. My new studio shoes are working quite well. I had noticed a bit of knee and hip pain creeping in, but new shoes seem to have taken care of that. Continue reading “Things are starting to gel.”

Comfort. A Peace of my Mind. Better than Fat Her’s Day. 

Comfort. A Peace of my Mind. Better than Fat Her’s Day. 

This morning I did a search for a phrase in my blog collection. I was was wondering if I had ever written a piece about Fat Her’s Day.  For some reason, this post showed up.

Source: Comfort. A Peace of my Mind.

Feel free to click the link and read it. Or just keep reading here. I’m not really sure why that one matched, but I’m glad it did. It helped me recognize that I have been numbing with food for a few days. It’s not comfort. It’s numbing. Just masking discomfort. Continue reading “Comfort. A Peace of my Mind. Better than Fat Her’s Day. “

Mot I’ve ate. Or Motivate.

Mot I’ve ate. Or Motivate.

She who hesitates contracts
A pause trophy can win
Instead of eating up her words
And heading out of thin.
(Impossible turns to I’m Possible
And that’s the start of begin.)

What motivates a mouth to eat
A feeling into numb. Continue reading “Mot I’ve ate. Or Motivate.”

Control.

via Daily Prompt: Control

I’m writing of my own free will
From a prompt that says control.
The thought that popped first in my head
I found a little droll.

On second thought, I sat up straight
And knew I had to write
A little more what’s been said before
Though some might think it trite.

I struggle with this word control
Addiction is a rage
And if I let it get to me
I’m a puppet on its stage.

So, control, I figure. What?
The L. I’ll add another L.
And then I see and say Con TROLL!
Perhaps it’s worth a yell!

A definite, purposeful, bright line yodel.
All the parts in a grand some total.
Or taking a leap, perhaps it’s toadal.

Crashing through a bored in the fridge,
The troll is waiting to offer a smidge
Of something that trips then feels disgraced.
The control that was had—now misplaced.

So yes, I’m against. Completely con troll.
I need to avoid it wherever I stroll.
When I’m hungry or completely full.

My lines can’t be drawn bright or dull in the sand.
Adhering sometimes and then other hand.
If my purpose for health is knocked for a loop
I end up thinking I’m a nincompoop.

But I’m not ‘cause I’m fighting the battle once more
It’s worth the effort and can’t be a chore.
I’m possible still and moving ahead.
I’m present and facing the future–alive and not dead.

Completely. Con troll.

The psychology of addiction is more than a prediction of what will happen if. The substance and psyche (whether you likey) often face off with a tiff. There are triggers and figures and shots and jiggers (although I’m not driven to drink). I must be aware and accept that it’s there and not let it change what I think.

I recently read the book Bright Line Eating. I also watched a series of videos posted by the author, Susan Pierce Thompson, PhD. She has a lot to say about the neuroscience behind food addiction. And I think she may be onto something with her automaticity plan to conquer it. It works for her and a lot of other people. She is passionate about it. And I could feel myself being excited about it, too. Her work explains a lot of what I’ve found to work for me.

I think she sincerely wants to help people. But she also wants to sell her boot camp experience and the things that go along with that. I bought her book, but I didn’t buy her boot camp. I felt a sense of renewed commitment to my plan of not eating between meals. I think I felt a little invincible for a little while yesterday and then realized a choice I had made was a danger signal to me. The issue was that I made a choice to buy a snack food to eat with my lunch. And then I had a bunch. That turned into more than I could handle.

I feel very grateful to know what to do to fix my slip up. I also feel very foolish that I had to enact those procedures again. (I imagine the reader’s response, “Doesn’t she EVER learn?”) But my big lesson right now is. Write now. Not for entertainment. Not because it needs to be a certain way for it to fit into this blog. For me. I’m Possible. It’s a journey. And I’m on it.

Slip ups don’t mean that I can’t fit into my clothes (although they fit better when the slip’s down). Slip ups don’t mean that I can’t run or walk or do yoga or jazzercise or sudoku and I’m totally out of shape and obese in an instant. It’s a journey with some scenic byways and some road construction. AAA (awareness, acceptance, and adaptation) are helping me with planning and also with emergency repairs as needed. I’m working on some safety issues, but I’m going to enjoy the ride.