Whatcha June? Ate? (Written on 6/8/2017)

Whatcha June? Ate? (Written on 6/8/2017)

It’s one of those days. I was making my smoothie this morning. Fresh ginger. Fresh mint (picked from my back yard moments earlier). Frozen mango. Whey powder. Acacia Fiber. Chia (good chia). Baby spinach. Grapefruit seltzer. MCT oil (that’s Medium-chain triglyceride derived from coconut oil). As I poured the green goodness into my quart-sized canning jar, I thought it resembled a shamrock shake. Continue reading “Whatcha June? Ate? (Written on 6/8/2017)”

Guernsey on my Journey.

I had a viewer from Guernsey, the isle of same name as  cow! I didn’t know the place at first, but then I thought, “Oh my, wow!”

The literary circles go far and wide and who knows what next will wash in with the tide.

Right now, the tide’s turned for my healing. I had breakfast with protein and stopped. I’ll have lunch pretty soon, along about noon, then my floor will be swept and mopped.

(No, I won’t eat my lunch off the floor! This rhyme has so much to score. It’s a crEATive outlet that’s getting me through until it’s time to eat more.)

The beautiful Guernsey cow. Prized for its milk and its cream. Efficiently grazing all the day long. The breed is a dairy man’s dream.

But grazing, for me, is a nightmare unless I can come to my senses to rein in addiction before it goes wild and demolishes all of defenses.

Whether grazing like horse or a cow. Or their porcine pal, the sow. I can’t afford to wallow and follow every swallow with the thought of more and more chow.

It isn’t really me, it’s the sugar in control. And I’ve documented it to the hilt. But in being this aware, I’ll accept this as my fair. I’ll adapt again and simply ditch the guilt.

My dear “old” pal  (who is younger than me) simply said, “It’s okay.” In a tone of voice, a deliberate choice, like a hug from a friend come what may.

It’s okay! Yes it is. She could be a kindred spirit. This Anne with an e–a dear friend to me–knew that I needed to hear it!

Some others reached out in the comments or messaged me only in private. The I’m Possible Journey continues–with my friends who help me to drive it!

So thanks to the viewer from Guernsey. And more from British Isles. To the folks in my native USA and others from further in miles. Thank you for reading my blog. E’en More as I struggle  (or maybe it’s muggle) to be me and come out of my fog!

And now, so it can’t be said of me, “She Saturday away!” I am going to finish this post and move on!

 

Win. From my Head to de Feet.

Win. From my Head to de Feet.

Do these shoes make my feet look fat? No. I’ve had enough of that. I ran around in the heels (sometimes on my toes) for my youngest dayghter’s wedding on Saturday. It was a tremendous feat to keep it together as the caterer and the MOB. But it all went beautifully smoothly and I didn’t do a split in my head, my heart, or my feet! No sugar added made the day a lot more sweet!

The cows were grazing in the field and sometimes hollered, “Moo!” But Maureen wasn’t Moo-reen and grazing her way through. I simply did what makes me feel best. That’s what I wanted to do!

Three healthy meals with protein and my vitamins–no more. A little bit of writing to process thoughts in my core. With a hefty dose of gratitude for help on every side, I could focus on the bridegroom and my daughter, now his bride.

The wedding ceremony and reception were a lovely start to what has great potential for a wonderful marriage. They are very young, very tall (6’7″ and 5’11”), and very much in love. We wish them the best for a lifetime!

But moving right along, I switched to my running shoes on Sunday while our lunch of leftover wedding soup was heating up in the oven. Hubby and I went for a 3.15 mile run. Done in 30 minutes, 50 seconds for an overall 9:48 pace. It wasn’t a race, but I beat my personal record and got closer to my goal of a sub 30 5K.

My first 5K, in July 2012 (the week before I turned 50) took 41 minutes to run. Before that, I had never run more than a mile and that was in grade school. Impossible changed to I’m Possible. One step at a time. In time.

I continue to do what works to control my sugar addiction. I am excited for all the things that have become possible along my journey. I am thankful to feel like I continue to develop the real me.
I’m Possible and you are, too! Pay attention to your foods and moods and find what works for you!

The wedding pictures aren’t available yet (they only allowed their photographer to take pictures). But I just realized that I had no thought or worry of anyone taking pictures of me and if I will look overweight or out of shape or miserable inside. What a contrast to the wedding just before I started learning how to live with sugar addiction! Feeling good inside and out is so much sweeter than sugar!

Weddings.

Some folks know that my two daughters decided to get married this month. Two weddings. Two weeks apart. One in New Hampshire and one in Missouri. Does it give anyone pause to get married in the “Live Free or Die” state? Probably not. It might be talking about gluten free and dairy free anyway. Actually, that sounds quite unlikely. And although I know Missouri is the “Show Me” state, I always want to think it’s “Missouri loves company.” But that’s me going off the rails. They’re both quite lovely states even though I have a little confusion going on.

So I’m officially, MOBX2. That looks like one of those magnetic signs for a car that’s been to the Outer Banks. Maybe the banks reference is appropriate. No. The weddings are not extravagantly expensive. There’s just a lot to do in a little time.

It’s noteworthy that I’m not going off the rails with food. I’ve made two batches of cookies this afternoon. I have a third wad of dough in the fridge waiting to become peanut butter cookies. No snitcherdoodles for me. I’m just enjoying the process of baking. Hands on, enjoying the scent and the sight, but not a bite.

I had whey powder and MCT oil in my coffee this morning. Breakfast was forty grams of protein and some coconut oil derivative that I don’t know much about, but that my sister-in-law mentioned last month. She said it was good for energy and brain power and I decided to sign up. I think it was helpful. At least in my head. Which is where my brain is supposed to be.

Lunch today was a packet of tuna eaten with a plastic knife (don’t worry, I didn’t get a forked tongue from the experience!), a flat of raspberries from Costco and two prosciutto wrapped cheese sticks from Trader Joe’s. Not anything to write home about, but I’m noting it in this blog entry. It worked for me. I’m not going to eat like that and then mess up the rest of my day with mindless eating.

I probably could be looking at my lists and checking them twice for the food and other stuff we’re toting to the wedding place tomorrow. But I’m really just needing a break with my cup of tea, my computer and some words. I’m pretty sure I’ve got the other stuff covered.

I made a batch of Gluten Free, Dairy Free, Sugar Free Cookies for the wedding in the Live Free or Die state. I’m calling them Wedding Date Peanut Butter Cookies. I won’t eat them because they’re sweetened with dates, but someone else might like them. I made some cookies for me out of almonds, dried pears, coconut oil and spices. That’s the way the cookie crumbles for me. My daughter wasn’t sure about these cookies. I’ll keep them under wraps for the MOB scene if that’s what needs to happen. I have learned that suggestions from the MA-FYI don’t always work. That’s fine. It’s not my wedding.

On the darker side, I’ve also made molasses spice cookies and regular peanut butter cookies chock full of sugar, shortening, gluten, and other stuff I won’t eat because I can’t tolerate it. But I’m perfectly fine making them for those who can indulge without sparking a sugar addiction reaction.

I’ve run the coffee makers with water to clean them out. My kitchen was full of the percussive sounds of percolators doing their thing. There was something nice about it. Maybe a drum circle effect? I’m not sure.

My tea is almost gone. I think the dough is chilled enough to bake the real peanut butter cookies. My little break is over. I’m not broken. Time to get back to the Wedding stuff on this Thurs-ding afternoon.

PS. A little note about my son’s wedding, a little over five years ago. It was before I learned to manage my sugar addiction. I had tried to lose weight before the wedding, but I didn’t seem to be able to stick with it (classic sugar addiction). These two weddings have not been accompanied by a frantic push to lose weight. I’m living in my healthy weight range. Below my Weight Watcher goal. I’m being fierce about eating to stay in control. Because that’s what I have control over. I do not want my sugar addiction to get in the way of anything associated with these weddings. Or anything else. I crave healthy more than I crave sugar. And it’s good.

Taking up Space.

Taking up Space.

When people ask one of my uncles what he studied in school, he usually replies, “I took up space.” Yes. He’s one of my pun kins. But I was thinking about astronauts this afternoon as I put together my lunch from emergency supplies in my purse. A packet of chicken, a squeezy applesauce and a packet of Trader Joe’s unsweetened instant oatmeal with flax, quinoa, and chia.

It doesn’t sound very appealing like that (oh, I also had a banana that I ate separately), but labeled as apple grilled chicken with whole grain medley, I think it might qualify for the food part of the space program. Think Apple Harvest Chicken Pot Pie.  If it had been heated, it would have tasted manifold better, but it really wasn’t bad. Or I was really hungry. Maybe a combo. But not a McDonald’s or BK or Wendy’s combo.

I picked up two of the Wendy’s 4 for $4 deals for a couple yesterday. All that fried stuff plus the bacon from the cheeseburger smelled rather good in my van. But the scent is all I enjoyed. I didn’t feel like eating any of it. That’s a sign of my successful paradigm shift. Or that I’m now from another planet (because I don’t just eat, I plan it?).

This afternoon, I stopped at Trader Joe’s for more of the instant cereal packets. They didn’t have any in stock. But I wandered around picking out some things that I could eat for an early supper if I needed food before I got home. Apples, Snap Peas, some kind of high protein bean snack, and a bag of ripple cut sweet potato chips. None of the deli meats they had were made without sugar and I didn’t really want six hard boiled eggs. Partly because I couldn’t find a good enough source of protein for me, and possibly because I’d been so focused for lunch, I decided I really didn’t want to buy any of it. So I wandered around and put everything back before I left the store for the next stop on my journey home.

I’ve gotten stuff like that before and eaten it all. But today, I realized my enthusiasm for snacking under the guise of an early supper wasn’t there. And I was thankful. Thankful that I’d been aware of how I was feeling and didn’t just get the stuff because I’d gotten stuff like that before. I’ve been there and done that. And taken up more space afterward.

I was in New York City today. A place known for fine and coarse dining experiences. But today, I ate to fuel my body. I’ll eat some wonderful food tomorrow. I’m going to visit my mother and then we’re going to go to my youngest daughter’s bridal shower together. The focus won’t be on food, but I’ll enjoy it for what it is.

I’m working on the food for my daughter’s wedding the fist Saturday in November. It will be delicious and healthy without being obnoxious. There will be other options that I won’t eat, because of how I know they would make me feel. But that won’t be the focus, either. There will be other things taking up that space!.

I’m home now. I had leftover pork and apples and potatoes to start and then I had just enough space left for a dish of whole milk Greek yogurt and mango sweetened lemon curd. Out of this world, good13502968_10154372544194558_5460833124123659724_o!