Things I do Write.

Things I do Write.

Sometimes I feel in a downward trend

With addiction and its wiles

While all around me are things that are good,

Good, in spite of any trials.

My auto correct changed up “things” to “thanks”

And perhaps that is something that’s right.

Thankfulness growing within my heart

Crowds out a discouraging blight.

 

I could type, for better or verse,

Lots of things I’ve done wrong

And though I like the color blues

It’s not my favorite song.

Dwelling on the negative thoughts,

I feel myself starting to sink

When what I need is a positive feed

To write on my focus or think!

I was thinking about whining this morning. It doesn’t take much to change it into winning”

There’s no need for “whining”

Or sour grapes

When what I’d rather is win

I’ll knock the “h” down and switch it around

To “winning” right from begin!

I had a good day today. Among other good things, there was no grazing on my part. I was able to laugh when I drove by the sign for Mooween State Park on my way home from Rhode Island this afternoon. (Just in case you don’t see it, Moo-ween is awfully close to my name when I’ve been grazing like a cow. Moo-reen Maureen!) I took the back roads because I was driving the Miata. It felt right. Things are looking up when I drive the Miata. At least, I am–there’s nowhere else to look!

 

 

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Apostrophe. A Pause Trophy. Another look.

Apostrophe. A Pause Trophy. Another look.

I was thinking about impossible to I’m possible. The difference is an apostrophe and a bit of space. Because I play with word sounds and meanings, I find a bit of help in thinking of an apostrophe as A Pause, Trophy. As in: just wait a bit and think it over. Get some space. It can lead to a victory. Instead of impossible, I’m Possible.

I once wrote a poem about the pause, or hesitation:

She who hesitates has gained a tiny bit of wait. Just enough time to think again–a helpful weight loss trait! I gain so much when I count the cost of a mouthful or morsel or bite. And lose the thought of “eat right now” that makes the clothes grow tight! There’s full scale value in counting the cost. For she who hesitates enough will find that she has lost!

This time, when I was looking at the apostrophe, I was thinking of what it stands for. It’s actually taking the place of the “A” in I am! And then I paused to consider A:

The A team, the A game, the Alpha, first things first. It’s what really makes me possible on the best of days or worst.  A is for acknowledging the one I ask for help and A is in accepting the answer to my yelp. I liked this thought about the A. It also goes with my plan of awareness, acceptance, and adapting. To realize: Actually, I can!

I’ve been under a bit of stress lately. Along with thoughts of A, I find it helpful to take Omega 3 supplements. They seem to calm anxiety in me without taking away my feelings. I’m not a doctor, or a nurse. I’m an amateur wordsmith who works in verse. I’m thankful for help along the way to I put first things first each and every day.

Last week, I got another notice from Shutterfly.com. They were offering free extra pages in photo books again! I took the opportunity to edit my prototype cookbook. (I used to work as a secretary, so I guess I could consider myself a professional typist!) I changed the size of my sample book to 8×8 inches for a less expensive version. I also took out recipes that could be dangerous to people having trouble with certain foods (rhubarb custard pie, Irish soda bread, Wachtalies, to name a few). I left the biscotti and spice cookie recipes in because I’ve come up with gluten free, dairy free, and no sugar added versions of them that are actually edible.

The deadline for the special was midnight on Sunday but I wasn’t sure what time zone it was in. I finished up and ordered my copies at midnight, Mountain Daylight Time, which was actually 2 a.m. my time. When I woke up enough to check on Monday, I discovered the deadline had been extended to October 18th.

Instead of being irritated, I’m feeling glad for the work I got done. The book is still in the early stages, but if anyone is interested in purchasing a sample copy during the special Shutterfly sale, leave me a comment with a way to get in touch with you. I’ll send you a link to my Shutterfly site.

I do not benefit from the sale of this sample book unless I get feedback about it. Constructive criticism or outright compliments are welcome! I’ll be happy to give credit in the final version! I’m going to be drafting a cookbook proposal soon. I’m looking for the right ring and a bit of encouragement! (By the way, there are no recipes for can’telope in my book.)

Getting rid of Hang-ups.

Getting rid of Hang-ups.

I’ve been working on a closet project. The calendar shows the season of fall is here, but there seems to be a hang up in the weather. (High eighties and humid.) So whether or not to put the summer clothes away and move into fall and winter is the question. Hang? er not? I started the transition, but my closet needed a clean out.

The answer for my closet project last week was to get rid of the excess hangers, or as I like to call them sometimes, hang-ups. I think that could be a good way to approach major projects in general (is that a colonel of wisdom?).

What is the hang up? Can I just toss it out? Or at least remove it to a different place so I can move forward with this particular goal? Will it be useful again? Or is it time to pitch it? It’s a home run-down if I hang onto hangups that don’t work for me. (This goes for clothes I just don’t like or don’t wear, as well as the metal, wood, or plastic devises that keep them on the closet rod.)

Which leads me to the idea of hangups offending (off-ending, or messing up a goal). I think I’m onto something big. Sometimes hang ups get tangled together. Reach for one and it doesn’t come clean. Or it brings out a bunch and makes a mess. Better to keep the hangups to a minimum, I think.

But back to the closet. I like the idea of the closet being a place of change. It’s easier to change if there’s not a lot of clutter, including hangups, in the way.  This is a multi-level thought that I want to ponder for awhile.  It may seem like I’ve already pun-dered it to death, but I think I need to think about it until I get to the “oh” moment. That may be the key to changing the “mom meant” to do something to try-umph.

Writing my thoughts has been a big part of me changing my paradigm about how I eat. It may seem like a hangup to need write about things, but I find it helps me keep order. Sometimes I write to distract myself from eating between meals. Other times, I write to explore my thoughts from a different angle.

Originally, I shared my thoughts on the Weight Watchers community blog site. I was using the Weight Watchers online tracking tools along with some sugar addiction management rules to try to get some control over my health. (I had some hang-ups about my Weight Watchers meeting room memories.) I lost a lot of weight, got rid of some hang ups, and I gained a support group.

With the encouragement of a lot of people, I published a book from my Weight Watchers blogging experience. It’s helped me when I’ve gone back and remembered how I used to be (obese and unhealthy) and how I changed. I’ve had positive feedback to let me know that sharing my thoughts has helped others in their journeys.

Weight Watchers discontinued the blogging site last year and I started blogging more (e’en) here. I’ve also tried to use Weight Watchers Connect. I’ve had ups and downs with my addiction management. I think that has to do with life. I haven’t gone back to eating sugar, but I struggle with eating between meals as an emotional or stress reaction. (Food does provide a fleeting measure of relief, but it’s too close to self medication or using drugs for this addict.)

I don’t write as often as I used to. Perhaps I’ve accumulated some hang-ups along the way? It’s a continual process. Working on, or in, the closets. Seeking to change. For the better. It’s worth it.

PS. I’ve had a lot of requests to publish a cookbook. But I’ve also had a lot of hang-ups about doing it. The project seemed way to big for me.  A special deal for free extra pages in photo books with Shutterfly helped me get past one hangup: I needed to see what I could do without spending a huge amount of money.

I put together my first attempt at a cookbook last week. Soon, I’ll have a physical book I can work from. I’ll be able to see what works and what doesn’t. I’ll be able to see what quality pictures I need. I’ll be able to get feedback about how to organize the recipes and what else I can include. I think this book will toss out a lot of hangups, too. What has seemed impossible may just turn out to be I’m Possible again. The I’m Possible Chef.

 

 

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I Spied Her.

I Spied Her.

This was hanging from the umbrella over my deck table last week. I’m not sure how big a spider’s eyes are, but I’m thinking I spied her before she spidered me. I didn’t walk into her web anyway.

We took pictures and my friend named her Georgianna Devouschez. The spelling probably isn’t correct on her last name, but since this isn’t her birth or death record, it probably won’t mess up any geneologists.

Georgianna Devouschez sounds like a convoluted French fry of the phrase “of your house”. I don’t know if you have any of these spiders at your house, but I don’t think female orb spiders are very dangerous except to little flies and the male orb spider. We saw a male spider making his way towards her in the afternoon one day, but the next morning he wasn’t to be found. Poor François. We think he met his match and flamed out.

I had to close the umbrella yesterday because of a tropical storm watch. I don’t think I harmed Georgianna, but her web is down. She was actually huddled on the underside of the umbrella before I closed it. For some strange reason, I was extra gentle when I put the cord around the furled fabric. Maybe it’s because I remember reading the Weekly Reader book, Be Nice to Spiders, as a child?

Anyway, the more important part of this experience is my thought of “spied her”. Closet eating is a major problem for sugar addicts. Even if actual sugar isn’t a problem for me, I know I’m in the clutches of addiction when I’m eating things between meals: out of sight, out of mind, into mouth. I did really well when I was on vacation in Wyoming and Colorado earlier this month. And I did really well for the first week back at home. And then I went Nutzo.

Really. I picked some up at Costco after having said I couldn’t buy it for my pantry again because it’s like crack. No sugar added, but there’s something about it that cries, “More!” E’en when I haven’t finished chewing and savoring the blend of seven nuts and seeds that are several flights above crunchy all natural peanut butter. I had bought some for my daughter and son in law in Wyoming. I thought it would be nice and safe to have it there mixed in with my Cream of the West cereal in the morning.

I don’t know if it really was the Nutzo that set me off, or if it was a combination of a few stressors that I didn’t handle in the optimal way. Or maybe putting together a cookbook in a few hours was too much. But, whatever. Living with sugar addiction is a part of my life and in coming across that spider, I wondered if I just could think “spied her” in moments of temptation I might stay aware and care enough to say a firm NO to the whining of the addiction.

It’s really important that I am aware and accept that I really do have a problem when I eat between meals whether it’s protein or not. (I think I convinced myself that Nutzo was okay because it was protein. But I’m now convinced that the circle of addiction can take advantage of any wedge and throw a pie in my face.) Part of my sugar addiction management is to have start and stop times to my eating. Because that works for me in The I’m Possible Journey.

The idea of in private or secret is a sham because my body is taking precise note of it all. It’s a shame when I just don’t want to acknowledge that. But now I have. (Body aches and pains and, for full disclosure, my clothes started dissing me.) Again. And it’s okay. There are ups and downs to many things and this is no exception.

I’m here with my eyes open. And I spied her. Things are looking up.

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Colorado. Much ado.

Colorado. Much ado.

I’m visiting my daughter and son in law right now. They live on a ranch in Laramie, WY. It’s a great place to unplug and get recharged. They have extremely limited cell service and no wifi.

Today, however, we went to Ft. Collins, CO, via Walden and the rocky mountains. There was no cell service in the mountains, but my camera worked.

We’re on our way back to Laramie via Cheyenne, now. There’s enough service for me to type this aa a bit of therapy for my sugar addiction management.

When I was writing “Ready for Takeoff” yesterday, I was thinking about my tendency to lose weight when I’m on vacation. I had found some pounds during the summer while I was at home. Too many options, perhaps. Or not enough focus. Whatever it was, I’m ready for take off now.

Today I had a great breakfast that included a serving of Cream of the West and coconut oil.

I was on a Rocky Mountain high for a few hours as we took the long route to our destination.  Lunch was Mexican food.

Mid afternoon, we stopped at an ice cream and coffee shop. I ended up holding a coffee toffee cone for a minute or two, but had no interest in a taste. I enjoyed a decaf coffee. And that was that.

I’m still a bit amazed by my paradigm shift regarding sugar. But I realized today that it’s real. And on vacation, I’m settled about no eating between meals. That’s what works for me. I’m not willing to jeapordize feeling good for fueling poorly.

I’ll let this be all for now. We’re almost back to Wyoming. Oh wait! Another thought about taking off. When we got to the rental car lot yesterday, we found out we had been upgraded to a Jeep Wrangler. Today, we were taking off the top!

 

 

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Once Upon a Mouse.

This sounds a little like a Disney production, but it’s simply a response to a lovely blog post my author friend (I have more than one) wrote about me last week. If you have a chance, go meet Jena C. Henry.

Here we are togetherjenahenry

In the post, she used the word eponymous and suggested I might have fun with that word. No pressure. e-pony-mous? No, just a website with my name attached to it. Maureenaliprandi.com.

I am super busy right now. But I will write that I did not eat between meals today. I looked at stuff that I could have eaten. But I did not eat it. And I am glad. The writing is good reinforcement. And that’s what I need. Not eating between meals.

And now, I’m unplugging for the evening.

Good night moon. And speaking of that book, I think it could also be called Once upon a mouse. The mouse makes her way across the room in the book. My kids used to delight in finding it. We don’t know its name or how old it is  Perhaps it’s a nona mouse.