Colorado. Much ado.

Colorado. Much ado.

I’m visiting my daughter and son in law right now. They live on a ranch in Laramie, WY. It’s a great place to unplug and get recharged. They have extremely limited cell service and no wifi.

Today, however, we went to Ft. Collins, CO, via Walden and the rocky mountains. There was no cell service in the mountains, but my camera worked.

We’re on our way back to Laramie via Cheyenne, now. There’s enough service for me to type this aa a bit of therapy for my sugar addiction management.

When I was writing “Ready for Takeoff” yesterday, I was thinking about my tendency to lose weight when I’m on vacation. I had found some pounds during the summer while I was at home. Too many options, perhaps. Or not enough focus. Whatever it was, I’m ready for take off now.

Today I had a great breakfast that included a serving of Cream of the West and coconut oil.

I was on a Rocky Mountain high for a few hours as we took the long route to our destination.  Lunch was Mexican food.

Mid afternoon, we stopped at an ice cream and coffee shop. I ended up holding a coffee toffee cone for a minute or two, but had no interest in a taste. I enjoyed a decaf coffee. And that was that.

I’m still a bit amazed by my paradigm shift regarding sugar. But I realized today that it’s real. And on vacation, I’m settled about no eating between meals. That’s what works for me. I’m not willing to jeapordize feeling good for fueling poorly.

I’ll let this be all for now. We’re almost back to Wyoming. Oh wait! Another thought about taking off. When we got to the rental car lot yesterday, we found out we had been upgraded to a Jeep Wrangler. Today, we were taking off the top!

 

 

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Whatcha June? Ate? (Written on 6/8/2017)

Whatcha June? Ate? (Written on 6/8/2017)

It’s one of those days. I was making my smoothie this morning. Fresh ginger. Fresh mint (picked from my back yard moments earlier). Frozen mango. Whey powder. Acacia Fiber. Chia (good chia). Baby spinach. Grapefruit seltzer. MCT oil (that’s Medium-chain triglyceride derived from coconut oil). As I poured the green goodness into my quart-sized canning jar, I thought it resembled a shamrock shake. Continue reading “Whatcha June? Ate? (Written on 6/8/2017)”

Stressed:dessertS

Stressed:dessertS

The solution to stressed is not desserts. it’s a backwards approach at best. Unless it is simply to back away without caving to the test. Turning to food like a numbing drug is not the answer I know. Give me a run or a paper and pun. ‘Tis a vent so I don’t have to blow. That imag’ry conjures the thought of a whale–the size I approached e’re I’m Possible tale. Ive used AAA to change my attire. From Michelin padded to thin as a wire*. With the Weight Watchers tools and some bright line rules. Awareness, Acceptance, Adapting. No fools.

Stress is a matter of fact part of life. It can’t be knocked out with a spoon fork or knife. Just dealt with: good choices for heart healthy life..

* poetic license. I’m not as thin as a wire, but I wear size small!

I wrote this post with a Weight Watchers prompt. It could seem like it’s all about prose. If you read with a beat, you might find it neat: an amateur poem’s how it goes.

I’m on my way to Denver and then to my daughter’s new home. Where she lives with her hubby, (neither is chubby) in the land where buffalo roam.

I’m leaving New England in winter clothes–landing in Laramie where it still snows.

I’m going to visit a week and a day. I hope to see deer and antelope play!

My plan is to eat three meals a day, drink lots of water, and see brand new hay. I’ll help paint some rooms, shovel some snow and look for spring’s blooms.

I’ll write and take pictures but don’t know if I’ll post. Wyoming’s cell service is scanter than most.

And now it’s time for airplane mode.  I have a 5 hour layover in Denver. Feel ftee to comment. I’ll respond!

Stressed:dessertS

Stressed:dessertS

The solution to stressed is not desserts.
That’s a backwards approach at best.
Unless it is simply to back away
Without caving to the test.

Turning to food like a numbing drug
Is not the answer I know.
Give me a run or a paper and pun.
‘Tis a vent so I don’t have to blow.

That imag’ry conjures the thought of a whale
(The size I approached e’re I’m Possible tale).
I’ve used AAA to change my attire
From Michelin-padded to thin as a wire*.

With the Weight Watchers tools and some bright line rules.
Awareness, Acceptance, Adapting. No fools.

Stress is a matter of fact part of life.
It can’t be knocked out with a spoon fork or knife.
Just dealt with: good choices for heart healthy life…

I wrote this post with a Weight Watchers prompt. It could seem like it’s all about prose. If you read with a beat, you might find it neat: an amateur poem’s how it goes.
I’m on my way to Denver and then to my daughter’s new home. Where she lives with her hubby, (neither is chubby) in the land where buffalo roam.
I’m leaving New England in winter clothes–landing in Laramie where it still snows.
I’m going to visit a week and a day. I hope to see deer and antelope play!
My plan is to eat three meals a day, drink lots of water, and see brand new hay. I’ll help paint some rooms, shovel some snow and look for spring’s blooms.
I’ll write and take pictures but don’t know if I’ll post. Wyoming’s cell service is scanter than most.
And now it’s time for airplane mode. I have a 5 hour layover in Denver. Feel ftee to comment. I’ll respond!
Edit on August 1, 2017: I’ve grouped the top part as a poem. It seems easier to read now I’m home. I had a great time in Wyoming. My daughter and I primed and painted five rooms of her house during a weather event that dropped two feet of snow outside. I’m looking forward to a return trip that probably won’t involve snow or painting.

 

 

Justavocation.

There are several definitions for vocation, but the one I’m thinking of works for me. Simply put: a trade or profession. I trade off sugar because I’m a sugar addict. I prefer to feel healthy and in control of what I eat. I like to have impulse controls and I like to have mental clarity as much as I can.

I’ve played on justification with justavacation, but it occurred to me recently, that I just need to work the tools that work for me so I don’t trade off my good health for feeling lousy. Justavocation. Staying away from sugar is not deprivation. Eating sugar deprives me of feeling good in the long run. Well, actually, I don’t know that I could run when I was on sugar so perhaps it’s more accurate to say it deprives me of the long run!

Some folks might have noticed I haven’t been writing much in the past week. And it’s showing up in the present–weak. I went to a lecture at my library last Tuesday. It was about emotional eating and food addiction. I told the presenter that it was very validating for me. I shared my book and she took a picture of the title. I felt good.

I also weighed in and got my free eTools voucher from Weight Watchers last week. I hadn’t weighed in during January, but I paid my dues in February, used the tools that worked for me and managed to be free on the last day of the month. I showed a three pound loss from the week before, but in reality, I had gained twenty pounds between the end of November and the middle of January. Emotional eating. It happened. I got enough control to  get back in my healthy weight range without dieting. I felt good about that, too.

I thought I was back in control, but a couple of things happened. I chose to make some gluten free chocolate biscotti out of nut flours and monk fruit with erythritol (a zero calorie, zero glycemic index sweetener). I was curious to see how they would turn out. And I was curious enough to try one for breakfast the morning after I made them. I took it as a win that I didn’t eat one outside of a meal. And I took it as a win that I was able to stop after one. (They weren’t that great–very dry and not very sweet. But they were edible.)

And then I had two for dessert that night. And more for breakfast the next day. And lunch time. I still wasn’t eating them between meals, so I thought I was fine. But then I realized I was looking for a hit of sweet–like a drug. I packed them up and sent them to someone who would have better control. I knew they were fine with erythritol as a sweetener. And I knew they could crumble up the biscotti for plant food or something if they didn’t like it!

Lesson learned: Curiosity can sometimes kill more than a cat. Sometimes it’s a catastrophe and fixing it seems to be impossible. I’m working on making it a catapostrophe to get back to my I’m Possible self.

The other things that happened were family and friends related. Most, if not all, of the situations were beyond my control. But there was a certain sadness that seemed to overwhelm me. I’m not proud to say, but I’m honestly saying, I turned to the numbing effect of eating between meals. Food, even food without sugar, has some numbing qualities. But the problem with using food like that, is that it takes more and more to numb. And when I stopped, the thing I didn’t want to feel was still there. But added to it was the problem of excess weight, inflammation, exhaustion, and a need to detox.

Yesterday, I knew I was in a really bad place when I bought and ate dates and nuts with no hunger involved. Just an out of control craving for numbness.

I’m not inclined to go into great personal details here. But I know that part of my weakness and caving to food was a result of not writing about how I was feeling. Not here. Not on Weight Watchers. Not on Facebook. Shame on me. That’s what I thought it would be. But I’m realizing, again, that honesty is the best policy.

My body tracks every thing I do with great precision. My brain doesn’t always keep up. Or want to keep up. The ostrich effect just gets sand in my eyes and adds to the problem. To quote a dear friend, “It’s okay.” I’m a work in progress. And that’s a hopeful thing. (It’s seems more hopeful than a work in congress.)

It’s also okay that I feel sad about some things. Even when there are happy parts, too. I think I need to feel it all in perspective. Denying sadness can prevent healing. Reality balance is important. It’s valid. And when I deny it, I think I feel invalid. Sick. Being out of balance gives an advantage to the addiction and that’s not what I want. I do think it’s helpful to try to keep a positive outlook. But I also know that sometimes I’m sad. And it’s okay.

I saw a meme a few weeks ago: I found it here My track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good.:   I think about the idea often. I don’t know if I’ve given the proper credit, but if you follow the blue link, it will take you to Pinterest.

So back to honesty being the best policy. Honest Tea. I’m going to drink it between meals if I feel hungry today. Police-why. It’s a safety thing. Justification for managing my sugar addiction? Justavocation. It works for me.

I feel like I’m on the write track again.

Speaking of tracks, pretty soon I’m going to write about my skiing lesson at Schweitzer Mountain. Taking a stance, balance, and cutting edge stuff. All things that help me manage my addiction. Stay tuned.

 

 

 

Sweet Potato and Cinnamon.

Sweet Potato and Cinnamon.

Yesterday, when I opened the fridge to figure out my breakfast, the first thing I saw was half of a leftover baked sweet potato.20170207_072318 I took it out along with a single egg and started an experiment. Muffin doing.

I peeled the skin off the potato, mashed the innards and cracked the egg into my cereal bowl.20170207_072403
Then I measured in a tablespoon of MCT oil, 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon, 1/2 tsp vanilla extract, a pinch of freshly ground celtic sea salt (any salt would do–well, maybe not Epsom salt) and 1/2 tsp baking powder.  Then I mixed in a  scoop of Whey to Go unsweetened protein powder. 20170207_072846Once I had that all mixed up, I sprayed a little larger bowl with cooking spray and poured the batter in the greased bowl. I microwaved on high for 2-3 minutes, until the top was set. I  think the muffin I had this morning could have been nuked a bit longer because there was a little dimple of uncooked batter when I turned the muffin out on a plate. 20170207_074625.jpgMy experience with whey powder in microwaved muffins is that a little underdone is better than feeling like I’m eating a cellulose sponge more suited to washing a car than fueling me for breakfast.

This blog post is another experiment. If I have successfully done it, there will be more pictures than usual. I’ve invited my Weight Watchers Connect friends to visit and get the recipe for a picture I posted.

Welcome to new readers! If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to reach out to me here or on my Facebook page “The I’m Possible Journey”. Thanks for visiting. Best wishes to you!