Compass ion.

Compass ion.

I was thinking about compassion. And then I looked at the word again. Compass ion. What direction am I charging? Is there a negative or a positive trend? Proton or electron? (That sounds a bit, to me, like a weighty matter or a California governor campaign button in 1966.)  I’m not a physics major. Or even a physics minor. There wasn’t much chemistry when it came to me taking those courses. Right now, I’m writing myself out of charging to my fridge to have a snack that I really don’t need or want. And this is what I have to write about.

The picture above is full of irony. (I think that’s the right term–I have a few wrinkles in my literary department.) The ski jacket was full (and almost bursting) of me. I was obese, heading in the wrong direction (uphill and into the woods) at a ski resort named Sugarbush. I have nothing against the resort. It’s a great ski place in Vermont. I didn’t know at the time that I was a sugar addict. When I found out and started learning how to manage it, I chose this picture as my profile on my Weight Watchers blog. That blog has since been dismantled, but now I have this blog and here I am.

Since this blog is an outlet for me in my sugar addiction management, it seems appropriate to write about stuff whether it hertz or not. (Ooooch. That hertz a little.)

Sometimes I refer to myself as Moo-reen when I’ve been having trouble with grazing. (The effects of me eating like a cow tend to make me feel like a cow–getting ready for market. Some people do well to eat often. But I’ve proved, many times, that I don’t do well or feel well eating often. I need start and stop times for eating.  I also need a decent amount of time in between sessions. I can justify extended stop times enough to drag a “meal” out for an hour or more. Or I can try to convince myself a planned snack is starting and stopping. But then the planned snacks tend to start and stop minutes apart all afternoon. I do what works for me to feel healthy. Three meals a day with protein. No grazing. It’s a positive thing for me.

Back to the physics. If I attempt to write about compass ion, would it be appropriate to call myself μ-reen? Well, I don’t know if Mu has much to do with ions, but a quick look on Yahoo answers gave me a reason to use it: reduced mass in the two-body problem  I used to fill out an extra large men’s ski jacket. And then I reduced my mass. The following picture is the resulting two-body solution:

The jacket was sold as a three in one system (fleece liner, outer shell, or used together), but after I shrunk myself, we were able to get two in one!  I’m sharing it with my daughter.

I don’t know much about physics but I live it every day. Time and space and distance while working or at play. Over most of it I really don’t have very much control. And in cases of my clutter drawer, I’m seeing a black hole. It doesn’t really matter if I know the nuts and bolt. But a certain lack of knowledge could cause a major jolt. I play with words and blog my thoughts to keep me back from sweets. There’s an “eat” in creativity I think is rather neats. And when I would go off the rails and eat my way to dinner. I’m writing my way instead, on here. I will emerge a winner.

Okay. Back to compass ion. I enjoyed thinking about positivity and negativity and which direction I tend to go. When my inner compass is calibrated right, I can see and feel positives better. When sugar, or something else, has compromised my thoughts and body, I tend to be more negative and sluggish. (I’m not making grand statements about slugs, but I just realized they shrink from the salt of the earth.)

I did look at a YouTube video about positive and negative charge, or ions. I found it interesting to be reminded that neutral objects can be polarized when they’re next to positive or negatively charged ions. I prefer the idea of polarization as it concerns Polar flavored seltzers mixed in green smoothies. But the idea of attracting and repelling gave me a little food for thought.

My conclusion is that compassion doesn’t need to be split apart as a word. I appreciate the compassion I’ve been shown from others. Sympathy, concern, love, care, encouragement, a smile, and so much more. In positive and negative experiences. I’d like to know better how to show compassion to others and myself. It’s a positive direction for me.

Part of my objective for writing and publishing a book about my experiences with sugar addiction is that it provides an opportunity for folks who have no idea what sugar addiction is like to have a little compassion for those who know it all too well. My book is not an excuse for my aches and pains, mood swings, obesity, and yo-yo dieting. It’s my experience of becoming aware and accepting that there are negative consequences for me if I don’t adapt my behaviors to manage my addiction.

My book is not a judgement on people who have health problems. And it’s not a “how to” magic bullet. It’s a realization that sometimes just snapping out of it or going on a diet is not a viable option. What it is, for me, is a record of where my compass has taken me when I’ve paid attention to how I feel and what I do and eat. It’s taken me to a place I thought it was impossible to get to. It’s taken me to me. And I can go on from here. I’m Possible. And you are too. With compassion.

What direction are you headed? Is there anything I can do to help?



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