Rip.

As in Van Winkle and too long of a rest. I think it’s probably past time for me to write another blog post as it works in the scheme of my addiction management. My last post about rest was followed by some lovely times and some rather intense emotional distress. I’m not inclined to write about personal things (other than my sugar addiction) here so I’ll not go into greater detail about that. I’m dealing with it.

I have been trying to connect to my support system on Weight Watchers. The tool that replaced the community blogs that were so helpful to my success story isn’t quite a success yet. There are some features that work perfectly on apple products, but apearantly don’t on other operating systems. I’m still waiting for the desktop version to be fully functional. I tap out my thoughts in on my phone and fight with auto correct and the small field of vision. I try not to complain and whine too much. And I try to not let my disappointment get in the way of trying to make it work for me.

I’ve established, with myself, that I do better with a creative writing outlet. But I’ve also established that I’m not quite willing to creatively spill my guts to a general public that may or may not be interested or care about or want to understand what I’m dealing with. I’ve done that, in a measure, by publishing my story in a book. Ten people have written five star reviews on Amazon. And I’m thankful for that.

It scares me a bit when I don’t feel like I have anything to write but I feel like I have lots of things to eat. Even when I’m not hungry. I do so well on trips with my emergency supplies of food when the options aren’t ideal. At home, there seem to be too many options. All of them are good, but not all at once.

I’m feeling like Autumn is poised to trip me up for a fall if I’m not careful. I am wary of grazing that’s cropping up in this harvest season. I’m keeping my eyes open and being aware. I’m accepting that I have to work around an addiction or the addiction will work around me. And I’m adapting, or trying to adapt, to continue being the I’m Possible me.

There are new headlines screaming tainted research findings about sugar and fat. I’ve proved what works for me and what doesn’t work for me. Yet the doubts are always waiting to pounce. I feel a little off because of my half marathon training. I know I have to fuel my body for optimal performance. I’m burning a lot of calories and I don’t want to go into a wonky metabolic trance. There’s a lot of conflicting stuff about fat and protein and carbs. I’m afraid to believe any of it but I’m afraid to ignore it also. What should I eat? How do I fuel during training and on race day?

Last week I made some Fig Nuttins (dried figs, ground almonds, chia seeds, coconut oil, vanilla extract and salt) and Just Peachy with Good Chia (dried peaches, chia seeds, coconut oil, vanilla extract and salt). Both had no sugar added and I made the recipes up as I went. We used the Just Peachy with Good Chia for an eleven mile training run on Saturday. They taste good and provide some energy. The chia and dried peach get stuck in the teeth a bit and provide some distraction from the running. That’s a positive. But I also noticed the taste got stuck in my head and kept calling me for more. That’s a negative for me.

Today I went for a six mile run. I took hydration, not carbohydration. It worked for me. My training schedule was for an easy run and I took that seriously. My average pace was 12:21 and that was because I wasn’t afraid to walk some of the time. I had some seriously steep hills in my route because that’s where the sidewalk goes. I felt good about stepping up my pace when I was inclined to. It didn’t have to do with the steepness of the road either. Sometimes it was on the uphill and sometimes it was on a flat. I always ran when the road went down–gravity takes care of that!

I stopped in at the grocery store when I was done running and done swabbing my face with some paper towels. I did my shopping and, since it was lunch time, got some things I could eat right away when I got home. A cooked lobster, some pineapple and cantaloupe that were marked for quick sale. All of it was delicious.

I decided at three o’clock that I would have some extra protein to help with muscle recovery. One scoop of unsweetened whey powder with a tablespoon of unsweetened cocoa powder, a cup of frozen unsweetened pitted cherries, and seltzer. It was good. I’m tracking my food on Weight Watchers and it fit into my day quite nicely.

This post is like little notes ripped from my experiential notebook. It’s what I have.

 

 

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3 thoughts on “Rip.

  1. I am finally back on track after gaining about 12 pounds. I bought a new Fitbit; my old one quit. I am watching what I am eating and getting my 10,000 steps a day! You are definitely my inspiration Maureen!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Your training is inspiring and your awareness is so good for me to pattern. Thank you for writing and for sharing. BTW, connect isn’t that easy on my iPhone either. I have not lingered there much, but I am hovering at my lowest weight. Thanks again for your inspiration and for helping me come to grips with my reality.

    Liked by 1 person

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